So speaking of beautiful timing ... I met Ross' parents today. Hahahaha!!
Literally the best thing ever, he really scared me cos he's been telling me all these stories about them and then I met them. Like shyly walked in the living room where they were watching TV 'Hey. I'm Eve. Nice to meet you.' SO Awkward! Like.. I haven't been here for the past 6 hours watching The OC. Priceless. I mean it wasn't my finest moment, mostly because I didn't really want to meet them. It's getting scarily towards a relationship place now, he shows that he actually cares and I don't like that. I mean... I guess I do but I don't want to because this is supposed to be nothing and has no future but its becoming a little difficult.
It was little gestures confusing me before but now it's at that obvious point where I know he cares for me. He holds my hand and hugs me, brushes me hair out of my face and all I want to do is push him away but I don't, I go along with it feeling confused. I mean I like being with him but not enough for a relationship, I'm not prepared for this, especially when he knows about Petr and how much that hurts me still and that I'm going away in a bit and then even though I'm back, I'll be going to university in October. God I can't believe I'm even thinking about this. It's ridiculous but I think it's more the principle. Like I already know that I couldn't last with him because he's unreliable but still it makes me feel great that someone like him has fallen for me.
Before I had everything under such control but that completely went out the window. The quick good bye kiss and no other affection just hanging out. Poof. It was probably just because we were so relaxed but the walls finally fell and I took my guard down. I let him kiss me, hug me, hold my hand, whenever I felt like it. I even let him have his arm around me a snuggled up to him. I never thought that would happen as that's a sign of affection, vulnerability. However, much to my dismay I have to say I like him now, truly. I can't say that he's just a prick that I don't care about of what happens because I do. Shit. I mean it's not like I care too much or let alone love him, I don't think I ever would be able to but nonetheless, this is way more than this casual dating thing was meant to be. Especially as he's such a gentleman to me, any other guy today would've taken my clothes off and slept with me there and then. I mean we were there for hours, watching the OC, chatting, never touching, not even when sitting next to each other and he didn't do anything. Okay he tried to push me off the bed once but that's different!! Anyway, it was hours before he even put his arm around me and I lay down on his chest and it just developed from there. Nothing happened though, making out, that is all and that's what makes me think. I mean, I've never met a guy like that, let alone a football 'stud', he's so sincere with me...
I don't know what to think, this is coming to unclear waters now. The boundaries seem to be melting away and I don't like the prospect of it, however I'm not going to fight it because it's nice.
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