'You do the stupidest things when you're in love.'
Do two wrongs make a right? No, but that doesn't mean two wrongs aren't fun. He is the wrong guy in every single way but hey, why not? It seems to be at the right time. Exactly what I need to take my mind off it all.
I got a call from Ross as I was walking from the station Wokingham telling me to turn around & as I did he was just standing there giving me a little cheeky wave. I went up to him and he asked if I was free for a drink so I said why not. We ended up having a few hours, getting interrupted by the people from work which made things a little awkward but still, it was a great time. I mean yes, he's not boyfriend material. Yes, he's a bit of a cunt. Yes, it's solely a bit of very risky fun. But hey, this is exactly what I need right now, something to hold me over til after exams and I can go to Spain. And for that, this guy is absolutely perfect. attractive, asshole, just my fling type. I mean when we have a conversation, I have to pretend to be confident bitch Eve; the girl that goes out and gets who she wants, when she wants and shows it. She pretends like she's the shit and that the guy wants her so he better do everything to get it. This is a new game I've thought about and am pretty willing to experiment with. A new confidence, no looking back, no thinking, just fun and a self esteem boost. I act like someone completely different when I'm with him. From the texting, to the seeing him at work. Purposely flaunting myself because I know I can. All of this is, because I can. Acting like I know he wants me, because I know. As I said, this is all new to me, a completely new game, but then why not? Anything to make myself feel better. To get back to the old me, no dependency on any man. Just pure fun.
I'm really looking forward to tomorrow night actually, a break from revision. Dressing up and going out. Drinks with Sophie, a gig then a while in either Reading or Wokingham for a few drinks possibly seeing Ross. Actually, that's a lie. I'm seeing him straight after college. He's picking me up from college, dropping me at home, waiting for me to change & then taking me to Reading for a few drinks to wait for Sophie. In his gorgeous jet black sports car. Yum. Ha. As I said, none of this is any genuine like, purely lust. His personality baffles me; hasn't achieved anything in life and he's a hooligan thus straight away any true feelings have disappeared. However, all the superficial benefits are there thus I'm satisfied for him to take me out a few times before I jet off to Spain. It'll be nice for him to see me a little dressed up. I mean Tuesday wasn't exactly a shabby day and he was very smiley but still. Heels and tight clothing, always does the trick.
I guess I'm just excited to have fun I guess... Let's see if he can measure up to the bad boy exterior. Apparently he's a nice guy, that I don't want to hear. This is purely an experiment to keep me occupied and to see if I can pull off the bad girl exterior and make him even more putty in my hands than he already is.
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