Just a quick one tonight. I'm slowly slipping into a numb coma state once more, I sit at home and all I can think of is you, I wear the necklace around my neck just to feel close to you, it comforts me because I want to believe you still care. All together you've given me two necklaces which have consisted of three hearts but maybe that describes our relationship...
There is never going to be just me and you, never two hearts, it'll always be three because you can't seem to choose and commit to just one person and even if you could, I could never trully trust you or the distance which stands between us. It would simply be far too diifuclt and that is why I'm glad things worked out as they have, I just wish it never got to more than that one night.
You know, I feel like a broken record as I say these things over and over. It feels like there's still so many unresolved issues even though I have gone over every single little detail in my head a million times and I know that I won't be able to disect any bit of information anymore than I have in the past few months.
I think the best thing for me right now is just to read a book again, not a college one all about law or biology etc but some fictional romance that I have in the back of my littel dusty library. Sink into that make believe world to make myself feel a little better and take my mind off any unresolved crap that's been going on.
I know it's all pretty pathetic but I can't help feel that way.
I love him,
- Eve Anna x
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