Well my boyfriend's having his amazing birthday bash tonight and obviously me stuck in England and him being in beautiful Spain, I can't be there with him. It's okay and I hope he has fun but can't say the distance makes me happy. So for tonight, I've decided to open a bottle of red, put on Sweeney Todd and sit here in my dressing gown and lots of tissues. A bit of an anti-man evening if I say so myself because after hearing a few stories from friends today, I'm even more so disappointed in men; not Petr though, I love him and in my eyes he can't do anything wrong... But enough of that; let me enjoy Johnny Depp, some vino and my rants about men.
First of all, after being ill today, I didn't consider that I'd be on the phone to a close friend for over 3 hours about a break up today. They were so happy, damn, I saw them together a mere few weeks ago and they couldn't look more perfect. Yet now, he's just ended it and she's besides herself. Jo has always been a young one, this was her first real relationship, the flings and the sex prior to this doesn't count, there were feelings involved here and her and Bertie seemed so happy. They'd been together one year, more or less and now he just said good bye and it's over. Without warning. She's devastated so she's gone to stay with her dad at the Isle of Wight for a few days but nonetheless, I don't see how he could just do that to her.
Anyway, onto the main issue of the evening; something to really make me think about why and how certain specifics about men are the way they are. It could be genetics, it could be upbringing but the one thing us women, still wish to figure out is:
WHY ARE ITALIAN MEN SO DANGEROUS?
Beautiful, yet not too pretty. Daring but still secure. Loving but a challenge.
Jenny called me today angry; she moaned at me because I kept telling her to be vulnerable and let herself like a guy because it's worth the risk. What I didn't know was that this man was clearly a wrong one to fall for. 100% Italian, the whole package. 'Ciao bella!!' was the first thing he ever said to her. The type of guy you imagine in girl romance novels and if I'm honest even when it all ended badly, I still have a strong opinion that she doesn't regret meeting him because she 'got to bed such a beautiful boy' as quoted by her. It's funny really though, she set out to have a fling with this boy but ended up head over heels in less than 5 days, I mean surely that's almost impossible. They barely knew each other and she had her defences up so high that I cant imagine the huge slippery slope she slid down due to his charm. According to her story, they didn't even talk much from the beginning yet they had so much in common (contradiction), apparently he just kept staring at her intensely which was mysterious yet he was so funny and his body language was so friendly that he didn't seem up himself whatsoever (again, contradiction, that makes no sense). Apparently they didn't know each other more than a day when he asked her out dancing (Latin trick) and they just spent the entire night enjoying each others company but nothing happened. They then saw each other every day, just for a little while but he bought her drinks, chocolate, wrote her little cheeky notes (who does that a few weeks into knowing someone?) and by 3 weeks she had the biggest crush on him, not even a crush anymore, she really genuinely liked him. A first for Jenny. Then one night, they went out dancing again but she was vulnerable, had too much to drink and he took advantage of this. She ended up sleeping with him, which pretty much sealed the deal for her; she thought this meant that he liked her too and wanted to be with her. BUT NO!! They slept together two nights, she said that it was so perfect, something about the way he kissed? That apparently it was different from anyone she'd kissed before, which isn't the smallest number, 'so tender & passionate' (yuk). Yes I am quoting her because due to not having this 'amazing experience' with an Italian, I am apparently clueless. Of course, a few days later, he left her another one of his notes saying that he couldn't carry on like this (like what exactly?) and that he hoped they could still keep in touch when he went back to Italia etc etc. She knows that this was all an act as she's almost certain that she won't be hearing from him again. She's now completely lost trust because she's completely humiliated.
Myself, I don't see it. Of course in romantic films and series, Italian men are to die for but it didn't seem like that to me when I met a bunch whilst in Spain. Take two specific examples: Petr's room mate Simone, yeah sure he was cute, I could see what girls saw in him but he didn't seem to have much success at all (confidence also being a contributing factor- he had none!!) But anyway, I wouldn't fall head over heels for him if I saw him in a club, if anything it would be his personality but what I mean is where is the all famous Italian charm at first impression? It wasn't there, only his genuineness once I got to know him but that's a trait of men in general, not Italians. Surely Jenny's argument of; ' All Italian men who look at all decent can get any woman as it's their way of life.' is just not applicable in this situation. It brings me back to my question of, why do Italians seem so special to women all across the world?
Here's a picture, judge for yourselves, I just don't see it...
(he's the one on the left)
Another case is a guy I met called Francesco, he has the tall, dark Italian genetics however he just doesn't seem to take care of himself much and it shows. He has a girlfriend though so I'm only happy for him HOWEVER he seems so closed up that it's only once he's established you don't want to sleep with him, he'll talk to you.. From the beginning, I found it a little intimidating if anything therefore why any girl would approach him after his mysterious unfriendliness without being a bit of a psycho? I don't get, I'd be too scared to approach him and I can't really see him being the type of guy to approach a girl straight away. Okay, let's not get my opinion mixed up because once you get to know him; he's a smart, funny guy; very sarcastic which is even funnier however, it's not a great first impression which is what Jenny was talking about with the 'Italian Charm theory'.
Francesco... I don't know. He's not ugly, just sans the Italian Charm...
What gets me is how all those tricks could work? Is it something to do with the Italian accent, body language? What made him so different to others so that he could get Jenny in such a state? She's such a strong girl. But his ways just caught her completely off guard. The Italian culture, the gorgeous food, amazing culture, unique scenery; hot and cold climates. The most romantic places in the world. Why and where did this lovers' reputation begin? What about France? Why are the French not as charming as the Italians? Why do women get wooed into bed so easily by the Italian Romanticisms when France is supposedly the country of love; the Eiffel Tower, Moulin Rouge... I guess from a young age Italian men are brought up to be the strong hero figure yet not to forget their sensitive side which other cultures don't do. Undoubtedly, it's a lot to do with the language itself because as we all know, Italian is beautiful. In my opinion much more so than anything else about the country, including the men.
The point here isn't final, I want to find out more about this. Maybe speak to one of the Italian boys above, maybe they'd be willing to help explain why they think of themselves so superior to others. I can't wait to her their opinions because yes, they will be extremely biased however, it will be an imaginable laugh and in no doubt, a very interesting and insightful blog entry will appear from this. I quite like this topic; something to think about for some time yet not get emotionally involved. It's not like this has happened to me, then it may bring up emotions, thoughts etc: set my mind off. Whilst this, this is just an interesting discursive topic for which knowledge will come from my friends experiences, not mine.
- Eve Anna x
(Italian free- thank god!)
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