This is what angered me the most though. This weekend, I have spent the whole time missing him like mad. I've written to him loads, spent £50 (that I don't have) on lingerie for him, sent him pictures of myself in it even though I really wasn't in the mood because I know he lovs it, I wanted to ask him to change his flights so he'd stay here until Sunday not Friday because there's a big event called Burns night & the family friends I saw today invited him and it would be such a big deal to have him there, so perfect. Spent so much talking about how amazing he was when they asked about him, in my little dream world, so happy, loved up and then he's off out, sleeping with some girl whilst I'm cuddled up in bed with the bear he got me, dreaming about him, so excited to be with him soon. To see him. To let him take me to his friends and hopefully show me off. Now, none of it will be the same, I will constantly be worried what they think of me. There will be that sting of biterness there somewhere even if things get sorted, it won't be the same and completely okay before I go to Spain. I just don't know why but this weekend was the worst time for it because I have so many illusions and they were shattered by this, if it was another time, it wouldn't have affected me as much but this weekend, being the exact weekend this happened last year. Just no. Worst timing.
Oh and that he has the nerve to pass it off as 'I got involved with some girl from Erasmus.' No, you didn't get involved, you slept with her, tell me straight away, don't make me think it was just a good night kiss etc. That made me even more angry. I feel sorry for him because of the bad timing, I'm a lot more angry than I should be but I can't help it.
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